Our story began on the night of January 19th in the year of our Lord 2011 in room 17-b of building 5 on the grounds of an animal testing facility located in East Millstone, New Jersey. Here was the henchman firm that did the dirty work for many of the pharmaceutical companies who bring us those all important products to whiten our teeth, loosen our bowels, color our lips, get rid of our mucus, and many other goodies that give meaning to our empty lives.
This company has long had a reputation of going beyond the call to inflict unspeakable acts of torture upon our meek and innocent neighbors in the name of “safety for the superior species” otherwise known as “profit and fear of liability.”
The payment for the many decades of the Auschwitz like treatment of animals at this facility came due this night of the 19th. Karma was embodied in a mole that had been injected daily for six months with enormous doses of an experimental growth hormone and radioactive isotopes. A lab assistant found the 10 inch mole lying belly up in his damp and dark cage. Assuming the mole had lost its ability to continue suffering for the good of mankind, he dumped the lifeless yet still warm body in to the cart with the others that made their final escape that night. The cart of fate was left in a dimly lit room at the back of building 5 to await incineration at morning’s call.
The call would not come that morning, for the mole was still alive and the full effect of their experiment was about to be realized. As the mole slowly emerged from the drug induced stupor, the growth hormone treatments of the past six months all kicked in at once and he grew to a hight of 50 feet smashing through the skylight into dark of the night. By morning the behemoth had eaten all of the employes, freed the other animals and demolished every laboratory at the facility.
Today is January 20th and Molezilla is sleeping on his full belly in the comfort of the Holland Tunnel. The sign above him reads “Stay In Lane For New York !”