The Molezilla Karma


Our story began on the night of Jan­u­ary 19th in the year of our Lord 2011 in room 17-b of build­ing 5 on the grounds of an ani­mal test­ing facil­ity located in East Mill­stone, New Jer­sey. Here was the hench­man firm that did the dirty work for many of the phar­ma­ceu­ti­cal com­pa­nies who bring us those all impor­tant prod­ucts to whiten our teeth, loosen our bow­els, color our lips, get rid of our mucus, and many other good­ies that give mean­ing to our empty lives.

This com­pany has long had a rep­u­ta­tion of going beyond the call to inflict unspeak­able acts of tor­ture upon our meek and inno­cent neigh­bors in the name of “safety for the supe­rior species” oth­er­wise known as “profit and fear of liability.”

The pay­ment for the many decades of the Auschwitz like treat­ment of ani­mals at this facil­ity came due this night of the 19th. Karma was embod­ied in a mole that had been injected daily for six months with enor­mous doses of an exper­i­men­tal growth hor­mone and radioac­tive iso­topes. A lab assis­tant found the 10 inch mole lying belly up in his damp and dark cage. Assum­ing the mole had lost its abil­ity to con­tinue suf­fer­ing for the good of mankind, he dumped the life­less yet still warm body in to the cart with the oth­ers that made their final escape that night. The cart of fate was left in a dimly lit room at the back of build­ing 5 to await incin­er­a­tion at morning’s call.

The call would not come that morn­ing, for the mole was still alive and the full effect of their exper­i­ment was about to be real­ized. As the mole slowly emerged from the drug induced stu­por, the growth hor­mone treat­ments of the past six months all kicked in at once and he grew to a hight of 50 feet smash­ing through the sky­light into dark of the night. By morn­ing the behe­moth had eaten all of the employes, freed the other ani­mals and demol­ished every  lab­o­ra­tory at the facility.

Today is Jan­u­ary 20th and Molezilla is sleep­ing on his full belly in the com­fort of the Hol­land Tun­nel. The sign above him reads “Stay In Lane For New York !”